Misery and other Sayings

"You don't have to practice being miserable." - from an Army buddy, then-Sgt Cornelius

"I'm beginning to suspect you of having some false belief in the virtues of misery." Will Ladislaw to Dorothea Casaubon in Middlemarch

Orthopedics Trauma Team Quotes

"The INR is 2.5? That's okay. Turn up the bovie." - if the patient in on too much blood thinner, turn up the electrical cautery

"I pulled a guy's toe off doing this once... it was already broken..."

"This suction sucks."

"Can I have the red-hot poker, please?" - when a case can't go much worse...

"That reduction looks perfect, but I think we need to put in longer screws." - famous last words...

"Call fluoro. Keener and Sliva are working on a grade 3 flail here. They can't find a screw the size of the lights in this room."

"I went to look up Clandestine fractures, but I couldn't find any papers by Dr. Clandestine."

"Is that a Smith & Nephew or a Richards product?"

"Should I ask the doctor about Clinton?" - staff is a strong Republican.

"That's real nice." - sometimes said with subtle sarcasm.

"It looks like we've managed to make chicken salad out of chicken shit. But it's still chicken shit." Ankle fractures do poorly in the long run, even if we can make the X-rays look pretty after the accident.

"Can I get another half-sheet?" - sometimes, things insist on falling off the surgical table, over and over

"If you would quit bitching, you'd be done by now."

"That's within a gnat's ass."

"Where's the radial nerve?" - more famous last words... lawsuits happen if you accidentally cut the radial nerve

"You're a star."

"Where are the films on that guy?"

"I don't know what we're gonna do here, but whatever it is, we better do it fast."

"This screwdriver isn't big enough, either." - Hardware removal just never seems to go smoothly.

"Code Pink" - Garrett was born during this rotation.

"Don't worry your pretty little head."

"How much coumadin did they get?" - more blood thinner problems

Dedicated to Garrett Donovan Keener.