Misery and other Sayings

"You don't have to practice being miserable." - from an Army buddy, then-Sgt Cornelius

"The best piety is to enjoy when you can. It's no use to try to take care of all the world, unless you allow yourself to feel some delight in it! "I'm beginning to suspect you of having some false belief in the virtues of misery." Will Ladislaw to Dorothea Casaubon in Middlemarch

"Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die."

• ...it's a biblical phrase, and I believe the Italian equivalent is: Mangia, bevi e sta allegro. But looking at Italian Bibles on line, I also see: Mangia, bevi e datti alla gioia.
• My translation (Mangiate, bevete e siate felici) was in the plural. The singular version would be: Mangia, bevi e sii felice.
• "Let's eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die." "Mangiamo, beviamo e gioiamo, poiché domani moriremo".
• Mangia, bevi e sii felice
• Mangiare, bere e divertirsi!
• Ecclesiastes 8:15, 'Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry', and Isaiah 22:13, 'Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die.'

Orthopedics Trauma Team Quotes

"The INR is 2.5? That's okay. Turn up the bovie." (if the patient in on too much blood thinner, turn up the electrical cautery aka "bovie".)

"I pulled a guy's toe off doing this once..." (Apparently, it was already broken - major car accident)

"This suction sucks."

"Can I have the red-hot poker, please?" (When a case can't get much worse)

"That reduction looks perfect, but I think we need to put in longer screws." (famous last words)

"Call fluoro. Keener and Sliva are working on a grade 3 flail here. They can't find a screw the size of the lights in this room." (Hardware removal is harder than you think.)

"I went to look up Clandestine fractures, but I couldn't find any papers by Dr. Clandestine."

"Is that a Smith & Nephew or a Richards product?"

"Should I ask the doctor about Clinton?" (staff was a strong Republican)

"That's real nice." (sometimes said during a case with genuine satisfaction, sometimes with subtle sarcasm)

"It looks like we've managed to make chicken salad out of chicken shit. But it's still chicken shit." (Ankle fractures do poorly in the long run, even if we can make the X-rays look pretty after the accident.)

"Can I get another half-sheet?" (sometimes, things insist on falling off the surgical table, over and over)

"If you would quit bitching, you'd be done by now."

"That's within a gnat's ass."

"Where's the radial nerve?" (more famous last words... lawsuits happen if you accidentally cut the radial nerve, and sometimes it's really hard to find it, to make sure it's okay)

"You're a star."

"Where are the films on that guy?"

"I don't know what we're gonna do here, but whatever it is, we better do it fast."

"This screwdriver isn't big enough, either." (Hardware removal just never seems to go smoothly.)

"Code Pink" (Garrett was born during this rotation.)

"Don't worry your pretty little head."

"How much coumadin did they get?" (more blood thinner problems)

Dedicated to Garrett Donovan Keener.